How ironic, making masks theatre.

Sometimes I thank the world that I am an actress. No matter how I am feeling I can draw back the tears and put on a happy mask. Everything is the same. My cardboard smile is real. The tears in my eyes just lingering laughter. I wonder though if people can feel through the masks. I know the energy I send of doesn't match, but do the people around me notice? It makes it much more difficult to hide, doesn't it? I hope you don't notice. I don't want you to feel guilty or responsible. But I can't help feeling that there is a reason I'm not getting. That there is somthing wrong with me. Have you ever questioned people's compliments? Have you ever had someone say you are beautiful and think to yourself, "Is this a lie my friends tell me because it is the friendly thing to do?" Have you ever stared into a mirror and hated what you saw, because you saw the ugliness in your heart seeping through to the surface?
Thank you stars, for making me good at pretending.












The atlantic was born today and i'll tell you how: the clouds above opened up and let it out. I was standing on the surface of a perforated sphere when the water filled every hole. and thousands upon thousands made an ocean, making islands where no island should go. oh no.
those people were overjoyed; they took to their boats. I thought it less like a lake and more like a moat. the rhythm of my footsteps crossing flood lands to your door have been silenced forever more. the distance is quite simply much too far for me to row it seems farther than ever before oh no.
I need you so much closer, I need you so much closer, I need you so much closer, I need you so much closer, I need you so much closer, I need you so much closer, I need you so much closer, I need you so much closer, I need you so much closer, I need you so much closer, I need you so much closer, I need you so much closer.
so come on, come on, so come on, come on, so come on, come on, so come on, come on.