Every day is exactly the same

So how's life in Kaitlyn Land right now??

I'm tired, stressed, angry, sore, sad, lonely....

Well, I'm completely worn out from work. I've been working at the Casino a month now, and I enjoy it very much, but working two jobs is really wearing down on me. I put in my two weeks at Things Engraved but Shauna is going on vacation next week so I'll be getting even MORE hours. I haven't had a day off in about a week and a half now, and I wont get one for another two weeks. My birthday is the next day I have off. Considering it's only been a week and a half and I'm already breaking down, I'm frightened to see myself at the end of these two weeks. I have to wonder, is the money really worth it?

I haven't been sleeping well lately. I'm thinking because of my work schedule, but I'm sure the following things may be contributing as well. It's awful... it takes me so long to fall asleep, then I toss and turn all night, wake up early, and doze for about two hours in the morning, and wake up more tired than I was when I went to bed the night before. I'm in a constant state of tiredness and it's not helping things.

As for my apartment, it's working out.. I guess. I love the place itself, but it always seems to be such a fucking mess. It doesn't help that there are still unpacked boxes laying around. And the dishes are monumental. I'm so so tired of living in a mess. (granted my room is a pile of clothing at the moment, but considering my work schedule and the fact that I come home from work and do a pile of dishes and pick up loads of garbage every day, I think it's forgivable.)

I'm just in such a bad mood lately from everything, and there are a few particular things that really aren't helping. But one of the biggest things I can't even attempt to fix because the person in question is never available. I'm starting to feel shot down, and even shit on by said person, merely by their apparent lack of care or concern for my feelings.

Also, I've really been missing my friends. I miss Jo and Lee terribly and even though I've been making some friends at work, I really really miss those two. Aliesha as well, has pretty much vanished. At least I know she is ok now, but I haven't seen her since Jo and Lee moved. And Clinton and Cory of course. It's been way too long and I long to see them again. I have a picture of the three of us on my dresser and every time I see it I remember how close we were and how much time we spent playing video games and being weird, while eating lactose free hot dogs and drinking tea. I used to sleep over at either Clinton or Cory's house like, 4 times a week, and they are like family to me. I miss them so much.

On the bright side, I have the best, sweetest boyfriend. I don't know what did it, but Terry has been doing lots of cute little things lately that I swear to god are keeping me from a total meltdown. For instance, he brought me lunch at work yesterday and waited in the mall for two hours until I got off work so he could drive me home. And he leaves cute messages for me on msn to find when I get off work, even though he is long in bed by the time I get them. I appreciate it all so much and even though I don't get to see him often anymore, I honestly think it is Terry who is keeping me from losing it.

Anyway, it is now 3am and I should attempt to sleep. Cheers.