What a fleeting moment

So my newfound happiness has been washed away almost as quickly as it came. I know I was super emo a little while back, and with good reason, trust me. But things seemed to be looking up. I had moved on and pushed through and felt great. I felt happy again. But it's vanished. As soon as I felt things started to look up, everything tore apart in one swift moment.
I find myself moving from day to day as an empty shell. I can feel it weighing down on me and the harder I try to hide it, the harder it becomes to bear. Honestly though, I think if I wasn't doing Power right now I would crash entirely. It has given me a distraction. I suppose that isn't the best thing at the moment, but there is no way at this current point in time I could make it to the end of the year without a distraction.
I just don't know what to do anymore. I thought I had everything sorted out but in the blink of an eye I realized that I'm drowning. I am so lost and I can't find the answers. I'm almost at the point of just giving up and letting everything come crashing down around me. But if that happens, I will have lost everything that's importiant to me. I wish nothing more at this moment than to rewind and go back to the beginning of this semester and do things differently. Obveously there are things I couldn't fix, but if I could fix even one thing, it would be one less thing weighing on me.
Fortunately, one on my issues from last semester seems to have subsided, but in its place, other problems arose. And frankly, they're worse.

In relation to my last post... there is one person I'd like to add, and one thing I'd like to change.


To number 2, I re-read my comment a hundred times and each time I read it I felt a little worse. It was harsh, and unfair, probably because I was angry when I wrote it. I think you're a great person and I really love having you as a friend. I was hurt, as I'm sure you can imagine, but I don't want to lose you as a friend, so I take back the harsh things I said. I don't even know if you will read this, or even know it is you, but I want you to know that I understand how you must have felt and I don't hold anything against you.



this one doesn't get a number I guess... but I need to get it out.
I can't believe what a horrible person you turned out to be. It's sickining how much you seem to think the world revolves around you. Do you give a shit about anyone other than yourself? I don't understand how you can do this sort of thing to the people you claim to care about. It's like you have this ability to rip out people's souls and mock them as they writhe in agony with as little care as humanly possible. You are easily one of the most conceited people I have ever met. Sometimes I swear you don't actually care about anything, including yourself. And it would make me pity you if you didn't have this habit of making me feel like shit. So don't tell me you're mature, or smart, because you are FAR from both and I have absolutely no respect left for you. I see right through your lies and into your disgustingly warped soul, and it makes you a very ugly person.